Uncovering Barriers to Love

I

n the wake of the tragic death of Nex Benedict, a nonbinary student in Owasso, Oklahoma, the world is once again faced with the harsh reality of the deadly consequences of ignorance and fear. As I reflect on the passing of Nex, I am confronted with a profound realization – my queer daughter, who presents androgynously, could be in grave danger when we visit our family in Oklahoma this summer.  It may sound obvious to some, but I have simply taken our open and affirming community in Maryland for granted.  

Twelve years ago, my husband and I deliberately chose to move to the DMV to raise our three children far from the conservative confines of where we previously lived. We wanted them to have the space to explore their identities without the weight of judgment and prejudice bearing down on them. However, Nex’s untimely death shows me that this kind of fear and ignorance is a daily reality that is systemically and intentionally cultivated by adults in communities around the world.

In grappling with this realization, I am reminded of a profound teaching from A Course in Miracles: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Children learn what they live. So, if they live in homes, schools, and churches where adults perpetuate barriers to love – like homophobia, xenophobia, racism, sexism - then how do we expect to break these generational cycles of ignorance and fear?

We can only do it through love. A love so deep that it emanates from your soul like a beacon of light to help others out of their darkness. A love like that can change the world.

Reflection: What barriers are preventing you from living that kind of love?